What is the most important thing to maintain good relationship between a husband and a wife

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What is the most important thing to maintain good relationship between a husband and a wife?

After seeking many resources including countless happy long term couples and through the lab of my experience and marriage, I would believe that Humility is the most important thing to maintain goodness between partners.

When one resides in humility, it makes it possible to truly commit to one another, rather than treat your relationships as a convenience.  It allows you to stay the course for the third entity, the relationship, rather than succumb to the monkey mind, or ego, which consistently gathers evidence against your partner.  From humility, one can release the pettiness of everyday things for the benefit of unity and harmony.  My husband and I have unified couples values.  Number one is “Unity and Commitment.”  We are committed no matter what.  We have both decided that neither of us is going anywhere.  However, we have examples of long term couples who are bitter yet will never part.  That is why we added “Unity.” This combination is a star by which we set our sails so that we stay the course and maintain peace and love in the relationship.

If we are humble, we can know that ultimately, our spouse cannot make us angry.  They can certainly offer us countless opportunities to choose anger, however, that decision is ours alone.  In humility, we can broach any topic, even the petty ones, and find resolution since the need to punish our partner is removed.

When we transcend the obstacles, especially from a team spirit, we get the true magic on the other side.  Instead of running, the two of you get a deeper sense of intimacy than you may have imagined possible.

Our relationships activate our old stories; “not enough,” “not supported,” “not lovable,” etc.  When we see our “stuff” and agree not to inflict each other with it, we can then release and often heal that old worn out garbage within the safe harbor of the relationship.
Humility is the quality of being really real about who and what you are—the good and the “bad” and presenting yourself honestly.  Additionally, it is being willing to do what is right for the marriage over what seems right for the individual in the moment. 

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